Why Women Struggle To Orgasm

Many women struggle to reach orgasm, but why does it happen and what can be done to make it better?

As we all know, some women have reached the point of no return more times than you can imagine. However girls, unlike many Hollywood love scenes would have us believe, lots of real women have never reached orgasm. This can be very distressing to women of all ages, particularly young women who feel like there’s something either physically or emotionally wrong with them.

But the secret to success could be simpler than you think.

Firstly you must understand that men and women see sex as two very different things. While men mostly get arosed by what they see, women get turned on by how they feel. That’s why far more men enjoy pornography than women-it’s the emotional thing-they don’t need it, and this can be a major barrier to having a successful, fulfilling sex life.

A friend comes to mind when writing this article. She’s always had lots of male attention but often tells me how unhappy she is as shes never been able to reach orgasm with any of her boyfriends, often remaining in long-term relationships while unsatisfied with lovemaking. Luckily, all this was until recently…

What’s her secret? Firstly, she finally met a guy willing to spend sufficient time to make her feel good. I know men get wound up when blamed for relationship problems but a large percentage of her trouble was due to the type of men she was seeing. They just didn’t know how a woman worked -and they genuinly thought girls were as easily tipped over the edge as men. So the first thing you should do is identify if your man is honestly doing his bit in bed- be realistic-if he’s not address the problem.

Now life isnt all one sided and its good to turn a problem on its head. What could you be doing to help the situation? I doubt the problem is all down to him. My friend learnt to be honest with herself and her partner. She took the time to talk things through with her boyfriend and gave him the time to get his head round it and in return he was far more giving in bed. But in doing so she actually realised that she was petrified of a man trying too hard to please her and… Well… a man performing oral sex. When she addressed this head on and told her man she threw herself into the deep end and eventually relaxed and felt so much sexier. In short shagging went from a five-minute activity to an all night extravaganza, and she was the star of the show.

Now the most important thing she did was talk about her problems without making them such a huge deal that she spent the whole of lovemaking worrying about an end that never seemed to… well come. The trick was to let her partner aware of her problem, address her own fears and then allow them to work together to solve it.

The worst thing you can do is try and solve the problem by making sex all about you and leave your man out. You’ll spend more time feeling guilty than great and his head with probably hit the pillow with frustration more than ecstasy. The trick is to let him in, (so to speak) and then work together for the happy end.

While researching this article I have have spoken with so many women who ask themselves, “Why can’t I reach orgasm?” For more information visit http://www.relate.org.uk/sexproblems/commonsexualproblems/FAQ_2248.html or write to your online gay best friend at Really Rich.com