My Boyfriend Cheated On Me
Dear Rich,
I have been with my boyfriend 18 months and I just discovered that he has cheated on me. I had my suspicions after he went out with his mates last weekend and after a lot of probing I managed to get him to confess to it. He said that it was a one off and insists that it isn’t an ongoing affair. I’m inclined to believe him but I just don’t know what to do. Should I end the relationship for fear of it happening again or should I forgive and forget? He means the world to me but he’s hurt me so badly I don’t know if this can be repaired.
Alexa, Minnesota USA.
Dear Alexa,
Discovering your boyfriend has cheated on you is one of the worst feelings in the world. It shatters any trust you’ve been building and your confidence in the relationship in general, too. It’s very easy just to end the whole relationship because of it, but it’s always a good idea to see the bigger picture…
First ask yourself how much you love him and whether the next four to six months repairing what he’s damaged is actually worth your time and effort. If you think it is you have to be prepared to face up to what’s happened but leave it in the past. Being bitter and becoming a control freak will only drive you both further apart.
If you seriously want to make it work then you have to sit down and talk. Find out why he did it and whether he’s happy being in a relationship. If he is then unfortunately it could just be that he followed what’s in his pants rather than thinking about the situation and how he’d hurt you. Try not to take it personally or think you’re a lesser person because of what he did…it doesn’t make it right but sometimes men just can’t help themselves – it’s sad really Alexa.
It’s not going to be easy getting your relationship back on track but if you find that you really can’t cope and you’re sacrificing your own happiness for his – it’s time to walk away. Overall you need to weigh up the worth of the relationship against the difficulties you’ll now face as a couple. Have a long hard think about it, make a decision – then stick to it!
I hope this helps Alexa and that whatever you choose to do will make you happy in the long-term – remember to look out for number one.
With Love,
Rich
What's up - I'm Rich, and this is my blog, ReallyRich.com - Your Online Gay Best Friend. I'm a pretty average British guy. I love tea, I hate spiders. Don't forget to catch me on Facebook and Twitter!
dear rich
i have been dating my boyfriend for almost a year now and things we have so good between us until beginning of this month when he told me he needed some space to sort out his life, and just when i was about to give him the space i found out about another girl through an sms. i confronted him about it and he told me he just likes the girl and does not plan on going out with her. he told me there have only been communicating through sms’s thats all. and he promised cut off the communication. i gave him the space he needed to sort out whatever it was. and yesterday he came to me and confessed that he’s been seeing this girl behind my back therefore he feels really bad about it. he told me loves me and does not want to lose me that and we should fix things. i told him to break up with the girl and he promised to do that. but now how do i ever trust him again. and my god i love him so much,and can’t imagine being with any other person but him. how do i know that he’s not playing me. please help.
if a guy cheats. it may happen that your not communicating, if you break up with him does that mean you dont love him? or you dump him beacause he cheated? i think communication is the best way. love your patrner with no fear.