How To Get Over A Break Up
Dear Rich,
I have been with my boyfriend 18 months and yesterday he told me it wasn’t working and that it was over. We have been arguing a lot recently and we both haven’t been 100% happy, but I never thought we’d break up because of it. I am utterly heartbroken and I just don’t know what to do with myself. I feel like my life if ending and there’s no hope. How long will this last and what can I do to get over him?
Thanks,
Amber, London UK
Dear Amber,
Loss is one of the hardest emotions to overcome. We grieve relationships in a similar way we grieve death and if you’ve ever lost someone before, you know that in time the loss gets easier to cope with. You also need to remember that in order to overcome something you must face it head-on so don’t avoid the grieving process.
They say that it takes approximately half the time you were with them to get over the relationship – but this obviously varies person to person. Just take each day as it comes and keep yourself busy. The best advice I can give you is look at the relationship objectively and make a list of all the things that you got from being with him and replace them with a similar alternative. For example, companionship – see your friends more, sex – date again when you feel ready etc. Once you make alternatives you’ll quickly find that you miss him less and less.
Rally your girlfriends and make sure they’re on call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Every day you get through it’ll become easier and easier. Assume that you’ll never get back together because if you convince yourself that you will, and then find out that he’s seeing something else – it’ll only open up a healing wound again.
They say what doesn’t kill us only makes us stronger and I whole-heartedly believe in this. This is just another chapter in your life and one day you’ll look back at this as a distant memory. Chin up Amber – there are plenty of other guys who are smarter, sexier and ready to meet you when the time comes…just remember how fabulous you are and look forward to the beginning of something new.
Good luck!
With Love,
Rich x
PS: I’ve attached a video of what other women do in a break up situation. You’re not alone on this – trust me…
What's up - I'm Rich, and this is my blog, ReallyRich.com - Your Online Gay Best Friend. I'm a pretty average British guy. I love tea, I hate spiders. Don't forget to catch me on Facebook and Twitter!
I’m in exactly the same situation at the minute.. and i dont get the video ive tried drinking, ive tried it all before. This is my 3rd serious relationship, I’m now 20 and i just dont know what to do anymore,
when i first met my boyfriend he was perfect.. I couldnt ask for anybody else. But a few days ago he hit me, cut my lip open, and bruisned the side of my face. He always promised me he never would of hit me, but he did. And i hate him for it. :/ But i still love him.
he would always go out every single day, hes unemployed and spends his money on weed, beer and fags. We have never been to the cinema or done anything together, we have only been together for 4 months, but i love him and i dont know what to do xxx
Hi Jodie, I know you’re probably hurting right now but it will get easier and it will get better. You’re unhappy without him but this won’t last forever, having read your message – you were unhappy with him! How can you be with someone who hits you, is unemployed, spends all their money on the wrong things and never treat you or do nice things with you. Shut your eyes, grit your teeth and ride out the emotional roller coaster and when it stops, you’ll be a happier person…
i am really sorry to heart this, but i went through a lot about ex it was worst than than to break up with her, she is the mother of my daughter we have being together for about 5 years, we have being fighting every day, we never being happy, she is being lying to me about everything and i have being accepting everything because i was loving her and our daughter. but the breaking with her was like i am killing myself, i spend all week with out eating. i was affected badly by this breaking up with her.
she was my everything i was having on this world. i could not let her go with out a fight but i was the loser. i lose weigh in bad way,
but today just today of 26-11-2011 i was taking her best friend for our first date and it went very good, she said i got 85% point it mean i win her heart, and tomorrow she is coming to my place we will have it all, just get it. so now i am happy finding some one else. so is the some be strong go out and have fun.