How To Get Over A Break Up

Dear Rich,

I have been with my boyfriend 18 months and yesterday he told me it wasn’t working and that it was over. We have been arguing a lot recently and we both haven’t been 100% happy, but I never thought we’d break up because of it. I am utterly heartbroken and I just don’t know what to do with myself. I feel like my life if ending and there’s no hope. How long will this last and what can I do to get over him?

Thanks,

Amber, London UK

Dear Amber,

Loss is one of the hardest emotions to overcome. We grieve relationships in a similar way we grieve death and if you’ve ever lost someone before, you know that in time the loss gets easier to cope with. You also need to remember that in order to overcome something you must face it head-on so don’t avoid the grieving process.

They say that it takes approximately half the time you were with them to get over the relationship – but this obviously varies person to person. Just take each day as it comes and keep yourself busy. The best advice I can give you is look at the relationship objectively and make a list of all the things that you got from being with him and replace them with a similar alternative. For example, companionship – see your friends more, sex – date again when you feel ready etc. Once you make alternatives you’ll quickly find that you miss him less and less.

Rally your girlfriends and make sure they’re on call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Every day you get through it’ll become easier and easier. Assume that you’ll never get back together because if you convince yourself that you will, and then find out that he’s seeing something else – it’ll only open up a healing wound again.

They say what doesn’t kill us only makes us stronger and I whole-heartedly believe in this. This is just another chapter in your life and one day you’ll look back at this as a distant memory. Chin up Amber – there are plenty of other guys who are smarter, sexier and ready to meet you when the time comes…just remember how fabulous you are and look forward to the beginning of something new.

Good luck!

With Love,

Rich x

PS: I’ve attached a video of what other women do in a break up situation. You’re not alone on this – trust me…