So girls, it looks like dating dynamics have changed once again with the 3 day rule being thrown out the window…

Apparently, nowadays, if you have a first date on a Saturday night and it gets past 11:48am on Monday without any form of contact, the chance of getting a second date is pretty damn slim.

This news comes from the LoveGeist survey which was commissioned behind the company who created Match.com, the survey has discovered that the average wait is now just 1.52 days – and most likely time to be contacted is 11:48am on the Monday… Specific much?!

The relationship pro at Match.com, Kate Taylor, said: ‘The three-day rule might have worked when all we had were landlines, but technology has revolutionised how we date.

“When everybody takes their mobile phone everywhere, waiting three days to get in touch just makes you look snooty or, worse, like you have run out of credit.”

‘The best thing about the new 1.5 day rule is that we don’t have to wait around for three whole days worrying “are they into me?”. 

“If you like someone and want another date the best thing to do is send a brief, charming text asking if they’d like to meet up again, or call them. Keep it short and very sweet.”

So if you haven’t heard from him by 11:48am on Monday morning – it’s game over girls! Do we believe it?!

OK girls, listen up! It’s time to talk dating, and I don’t just mean the basics… Everything from food stuck in your teeth, embarrassing habits, or that first kiss can make or break a date, so let’s concentrate on getting them right. Let’s delve into the wonderful world of first dates and make sure those date ruining awkward moments become thing of the past.

Listen

OK, picture this. You’re sitting eating dinner with a lovely bottle of wine, in the heat of summer with this gorgeous man from your office, (not that you should be dating guys from your office – but that’s an entirely different topic.) Anyway, he’s beautiful and on first meeting that’s really all you can concentrate on. Sadly, this means the things coming out of his mouth are going in one ear and out the other. Big hint now – this isn’t brilliant. Most guys, whether they are talking about themselves all night or not, will judge their first date partner on their ability to listen to what they are saying. One reason for this is to make conversation, the other is so you can learn about each other and have more to discuss. So, rather than focusing on those big alluring eyes of his, try to listen to what he’s saying. It’s often the simple things that let you down.

Remember

This comes part in parcel with my first point. If you are bothering to listen to him at least have the decency to remember what he’s saying. You’ll be surprised that most people remember only 10% of what people tell them. On future dates if you can bring up things he discussed before it will impress him and show you are interested and not just stringing him along.

Eye Contact

If you’re anything like me and he’s anything like Jake Gyllenhaal, you won’t have a problem staying fixated on him. But even if this comes second nature to you remember to sustain eye contact throughout your date to really show him you are interested. It’s a massive sign of confidence, as long as you aren’t staring him out – which is a massive sign you are a psycho. Remember to get the balance right!

Food

Food is an essential part of the dating process, as most first dates revolve around restaurants. If I can remind you of anything its to avoid anything with onion and/or garlic like the plague! They will certainly ruin your breath and in  turn, perhaps any chance you’ll see him again. When at the first impression stage, select somewhere that suits your personality, and won’t run the risk of you ending up with sauce all down your new dress. It happens!

Drink

Booze is great – but don’t get plastered. If nothing else, you’ll be labelled as a cheap date, and will probably end up doing something you regret. Getting a little tipsy together is a great ice breaker – but make sure you stay in control. Oh, and be sophisticated…no one likes a beer drinking lady!

Smile

Along with keeping eye contact as much as possible, try to smile too. Believe it or not, people like happy people – and as long as you don’t go overboard with your happiness, you’ll find a smile is infectious and a great affectionate gesture.

Be Yourself

It’s important to be yourself on a first date and not lie or deceive your partner. If you see them again, lies will always uncover themselves and you’ll just end up looking stupid. Also if you are dating to find a compatible partner, being yourself is a great way to discover if they are really for you. If they aren’t, move on! Plenty of fish in the sea!

Body Language

Closed body language is a huge HUGE turn off so don’t do it. If you fold your arms you are literally cutting off everything and basically showing you are aren’t interested. A good position is to simply to sit with your hands together, (and your legs together) and keep your shoulders back. It might sound like a stupid school rule, but believe me, it’s a winner.

Location

As discussed before… leave the location of a first date to him… he’s paying after all! It’s a big tell-tell sign about his personality too – so judge away!

Pick Ups/Drop Offs

This is the cliché moment of any date. Does he pick you up. Do you let him drop you off, come in for coffee? The best advice I can give is to see how you feel. It can be quite romantic to be picked up if you trust the person, but my golden rule is never let a guy up for coffee on the first date. It will either lead to something else, and if it doesn’t, even the nicest guy will think you are… to put it bluntly… a d**k tease.

Good luck ladies, and let me know your first date stories. Always good to share.

Love,

Mike x

Throughout Autumn Your Online Gay Best Friends will be bringing you a variety of films and articles to both raise awareness of violence at home and offer advice to women of all ages who suffer because of an abusive family member.

To announce the campaign we’ve produced and directed a short advert starring beautiful actress Nathalie Davies – so please be sure to embed the mini-film on your own sites, facebook / twitter and link back to the campaign. We want to get as many people involved as possible.

If you would like more information about the project, or would like to get in contact with a story you think would benefit others – please click through to our campaign page.

Alternatively you can contact either Rich or myself in complete confidence.

Mike x

Ladies… The ReallyRich.com boys need your help!

Every day we get letters from women suffering with bullying at home, domestic violence and brutal attacks every day of their lives.

To coincide with Domestic Violence Awareness Month, this October Your Online Gay Best Friends will be launching a huge campaign aimed at raising awareness of this personality crushing bullying that many of our readers live with on the daily basis.

The month-long project will bring you daily articles and videos from people who have suffered with domestic violence and the experts who helped them escape.

But! It can’t happen without your help. We’re asking any reader who suffers with any kind of domestic violence to email us in confidence and help others in a similar situation. We’re looking for people to take part in the campaign and be interviewed. We will never identify anyone who does not want to be made known.

Email mike@reallyrich.com or rich@reallyrich.com in complete confidence.

Domestic abuse takes many forms and often isn’t even physical – but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t leave scars. Never stand for it – stand up to it. Together we can speak out and make a difference to thousands of women. Check out Women’s Aid and Refuge.

There’s this guy, lets call him Sam. Okay, so Sam is a huge YouTube Celeb, and he’s really cute and I have him on YearBook. He’s sweet and funny, but with all the other girls after him its hard to get his attention. I’m even competing against my best friend because they’re friends too. How can I get his attention focused on me? He makes music and so do I, but I don’t know if thats enough. We’re actually alot alike but I feel all tense when I talk to him. I try and make sure I say the right thing but what should I do? I’ve never had this problem with guys before, if i wanted him I got him – but this is different.

Please help a sister out !

Love your friend,

Jade

Hi Jade!

Well this question is fairly straightforward and requires more thinking on your behalf than mine!

This guy sounds pretty nice, but there are a few things I think you should consider before moving any further…

First thing you need to consider is are you his type? Despite how much we may like someone, we simply might not be our ideal partner’s type, which means nothing much can really come of the relationship. Try and look at ex girlfriends or other girls he likes and see if you match up in terms of looks and personality, if you do – you’re definitely in for a chance.

You also need to think about what would happen if you did manage to win him over and you got together. Could you handle his celebrity status with girls wanting to chat to him all the time, or would you become jealous? If you’re likely to get jealous perhaps it is better to remain friends?

It terms of getting his attention, you need to be natural and be you – it sounds like you could be trying too hard. There was a guy that I really liked once, I idolised him in fact. The problem was I was so desperate for him to notice me I completely changed who I was and he lost interest in me… As soon as I started being myself he came running!
What I’m trying to say is be yourself and if he doesn’t like you for who you are then it’s not meant to be sweetie.

Good luck – let us know how it all goes!

Kisses,

Rich xx

…and when I say lower back ladies – I mean, right above his crack. The ass is a bit of a no-go-area when it comes to most guys – God knows why, they’re really missing out! Tell your man you’re simply going to massage the muscles in his lower back. Have him lay on his stomach and straddle one of his legs so you’re in a comfortable position. Starting at the bottom of his back, place the heels of your hands either side of his spine, and rub firmly outward toward his sides. Gradually work your way down toward his ass inch by inch until you’re actually there. Spend some time on the area then work your way back up again. This will help reduce any tension-induced stiffness, making his feel looser so he can move his hips more freely later on…

A word of advice: Don’t ask if he enjoyed your ‘massage’ afterwards. If he doesn’t stop you, it means he’s enjoyed it – if you ask, there’s a good chance he’ll get sensitive about it.

His Forearm

OK, so there are two target pleasure areas on the forearm. The first is the smooth underside to your guy’s forearm, which is highly sensitive due to the thinner skin layer. The second is the top of your guy’s forearm which is also extra sensitive due to the nerve-filled hair follicles. Face your man and gently place your hands around each forearm. Using your thumbs, gently massage down his arms until you can see him visibly starting to relax. The combination of stress-relief and physical contact will make him crave you more – just watch he doesn’t fall asleep!

His Inner Thigh

The inner thigh is another area that many women actually neglect to explore. The fact that you’re giving this new area attention may be a shock to him at first, but trust me, this will only turn him on more. Your attention down there will get your guy’s blood pumping in all the right areas, resulting in an even harder erection. Have your man lay on the bed and gently, but firmly, spread his legs apart to reveal his inner thighs. No stroke, kiss and lick your way up to his package, encouraging the blood flow to move up in the right direction…

His Jawline

A man’s jawline is a symbol of his masculinity but rarely gets any attention from the female race. When you touch his jawline, you’re subconsciously reassuring him that he’s masculine which will release all the right hormones… oh and you know that stubble? Well, it’s not just there to look good, giving it a gently stroke will set off thousands of pleasure receptors that reside in the hair follicles. Try holding his jaw and pulling him in for a slow, seductive kiss…

Depending on the kind of woman you are, you’ll either be a proponent of the female proposal or go white at the thought of such a preposterous idea. Whatever your thoughts on engagements are, check out the popular pros and cons of a woman’s proposal to a man…

Yes – 29th February Is Traditional

According to old traditions, a woman may propose to a man ‘legitimately’ on the 29th of February. This elusive date only occurs once every four years – during leap years which make up for the 365 and a 1/4 days we have per year. I think there’s something very romantic about this, allowing women a rare day to propose to a man. It’s more special, isn’t it?

No – It Goes Against Hollywood

I think a lot of women out there want to live that beautiful Hollywood moment where their man gets down on one knee and asks for their hand in marriage. Many women in fact fantasise about how their future husband will propose – so what happens if you get there first? Haven’t you just ruined your childhood dreams?

Yes – It Shows Women Are Equal To Men

Women are becoming increasingly equal to men in modern western societies and with this equality, why shouldn’t women be able to propose to men? A woman proposing to a man just reinforces that both sexes are on the same level.

No – It Emasculates Your Man

Just as you fantasise about the ways your man might propose, so will he. Proposing to your man may ruin any plans he has for your engagement, making him feel rushed and disappointed that you had to ask him. Make sure you think carefully about proposing to your man, how will it make him feel deep down?

Yes – You Could Wait Forever For Him

Some men just need a little guidance in the right direction. He may want to get engaged but has never found the courage or the right time to pop the question. Being proactive and proposing to him may actually be the right thing to do – men are usually hopeless after all!

No – He May Not Be Ready

If he hasn’t proposed to you there’s a good chance he’s just not ready yet. Proposing unannounced may just pile on the pressure which is likely to end in rejection. It’s always a good idea to test the water first and find out how he’d feel about a girlfriend proposing to him and more importantly, when he feels he’d like to be engaged.

These guys are usually extremely sexy and charming but also extremely bad news for you. The Lady’s Man is someone I warn you to keep away from, unless it’s only fun you’re looking for. If you aren’t looking for anything serious The Lady’s Man is a great guy to pass the time with – just be careful you don’t get too involved with him though, because he’ll be on to the next girl soon enough…

The Workaholic Man

Nice cars and nice clothes may look flashy and enticing but how exactly did he get these?! The high-flying Workaholic Man is a career driven maniac that will put his career ambitions before any woman without a second thought. How will you feel if your man calls you most evenings to say “I’m working late at the office”…could you cope with that? Work out how much you want the high-life before you get involved with The Workaholic Man…

The Taken Man

No, no, no, no – absolutely not girls! No way! Do not. I repeat, do not, get involved with The Taken Man. If you even entertain the idea of this you’re just setting yourself up for emotional injury. Unless you’re a masochist, The Taken Man is someone to stay away from in my opinion. Married or just in a relationship, The Taken Man is extremely unlikely to ever leave his wife/girlfriend for you, despite what he says. Even if you’re just looking for fun, you’re helping him cheat and Karma will pay you back – so just…don’t.

The Nice Guy

I’m a bit of a sucker for The Nice Guy myself, but 90% of them come complete with a massive chip on their shoulder. They’re nice for a reason girls and as they say, there’s no such thing as a free lunch! His chip will need constant maintenance, reassurance and support – making him reliant on you. This switches a lot of women off who like the idea of their men being strong and independent so watch your step…if they’re too nice to be true, they probably are…

The Bad Boy

Women seem to love a bad boy, but I’ve never really understood the attraction myself. So many of my girlfriends have dated The Bad Boy only to realise it’s totally more hassle than it’s worth. Whatever reason makes them ‘bad’, it’s not going to do you any good long term so make sure you know exactly what you’re getting yourself into…

1) Longing Stare

Locked eye contact shows confidence and maturity. This guy likes you and is not afriad to show it. Eyes convey so much emotion – try to look sad or happy without your eyes changing shape – it’s impossible. So study his eyes conciously and try to meet his gaze half way – that is if your feelings are mutual.

2) Upward Palm

Your brain has a section of it’s own to exclusively process hand gestures – they are that important! An upward palm is a sign of honesty and openness, inviting you towards him. It doesn’t matter if it is performed while chatting or from across the room, it’s a powerful gesture and you’ll be hard pushed to stop something as simple as a palm not make your tummy flutter.

3) The Chest

Men, as the dominant creatures we are, like to send out a signal to other men in the room to show them who we are interested in. A kind of sign that says, don’t mess with her, she’s mine. And they do this very simply by pointing the entirity of their upper torso towards the woman of their interest and effections. So it doesn’t matter if he’s chilling with his mates, or chatting to another girl, if that chest is pointing at you – you’re the one he wants.

4) Laughs A Lot

Laughing so much so that it becomes noticably too much can be a big sign of nerves, but nerves often mean he cares. So sure, he could do with a bit more confidence, but if he’s laughing at your blatant flirting or silly jokes, find it cute… because he thinks you are.

5) Full smile

When you first meet a guy you’re into, be sure to clock the shape of his smile… it can tell you so much about what he’s thinking. A half smile can mean he’s unsure but still keen, while a full smile that changes the shape of his eyes means he’s smitten. If he throws in a flash of teeth, even better. One thing to watch out for though, the half smile with the raised lip. If he does this girls, it’s nothing personal but I don’t think he thinks you’re the one for him. He also probably has a small penis (ok so there’s no way of telling that but it helps us deal with the fact he probably doesn’t want to know.)

Hope this helps, Mike x

Don’t Control Each Other

You’re both individuals so don’t try and control or influence the way they think – let them be them.

Treat Your Partner Like You Do Your Friends

We wouldn’t dream of treating our friends the way we treat our partners sometimes, remember this.

Don’t Assume The Worst

If he didn’t make an important event, don’t assume he doesn’t care – perhaps he didn’t realise it was so important to you? Spell out your feelings clearly and don’t expect your partner to be a mind reader!

Silence Is Not Golden

Keeping quiet while you calm down is fine, holding this silence for anymore than 12 hours is not. Talk. If you don’t, you’ll let the argument go on too long.

Do Anything & Everything Together

Spend plenty of time together (but not too much). Even if it’s mundane things such as grocery shopping or housework, it all counts. Make sure you set out plenty of ‘you two’ time during your week to keep your relationship alive.

Touch Each Other

Both in a sexual and affectionate way. Make sure you know the difference and keep it appropriate!

Don’t ‘Push’ Their Buttons

You probably know what upsets your partner or what insecurities they have. Try avoiding these at all costs – especially in a heated disagreement.

Honesty Isn’t Always The Best Policy

There is a time and a place to be honest and doing it when you’re mad isn’t one of them. Don’t express every sexual thought you have about others or things you know will hurt your partner’s feelings – keep them to yourself.

Put Yourself In Your Partner’s Shoes

Regularly put yourself in their shoes, how would you feel if you were them? Trying to understand things from their perspective will certainly have a positive impact on your relationship.

Don’t Do All The Work

If you’re the one doing all the work in the relationship sit back for a while and let your partner take their turn. If you’ve done all the work for a long time you may need to ease them into this…