Hi, my name is Jackson, I’m 21 and I live in Seattle. I am straight, very open minded, pro gay rights, gay marriage, and equality. I am proud of people accepting and loving themselves for who they are.

Last week my best friend came out and told me he was gay. For me it was part a surprise and in another way it wasn’t, it was kind of obvious but still it was a shock. I told him thanks for trusting me, I told him I was proud, I told him congratulations and that I was still his friend – gay, straight or whatever he decided.

However, things have changed, he is the same friend I have always had but something is different and I wanted some advice because this has been a little hard even for me and I don’t want to lose my friend.

I want to help and talk to him, meet his boyfriend (because he has one) and help him with people whom won’t be so understanding.

Thanks a lot for your time, God bless…

Jackson, 21 Seattle US

Dear Jackson

Thank you for getting in touch with such a relevant and touching topic – it’s great to hear from you.

Firstly, it’s so good to hear how open-minded you are – despite your straight sexuality. In my experience, it has always been harder for male friends of gay guys to accept and perhaps understand what their buddy is going through and from what you’ve said above, you’ve certainly done your best – you’re a true friend.

With respect to your question and the fact that things between you have changed, the dynamics of your friendship are naturally going to change for a while. Psychologically, you’ve seen your friend in a certain ‘light’, but since things have changed, it will take some time to get used to.

Now that your friend has trusted you with his news it is up to you to listen and learn about a completely new side to him. I expect this will be a shock at first, but will get a lot easier as time goes by. All you can do Jackson is do what you do best as his friend, listen, try not to judge and be their to support him through whatever he goes through.

Don’t give up Jackson – you two are quite obviously very special friends.

Best Wishes

Rich xx

Ladies… The ReallyRich.com boys need your help!

Every day we get letters from women suffering with bullying at home, domestic violence and brutal attacks every day of their lives.

To coincide with Domestic Violence Awareness Month, this October Your Online Gay Best Friends will be launching a huge campaign aimed at raising awareness of this personality crushing bullying that many of our readers live with on the daily basis.

The month-long project will bring you daily articles and videos from people who have suffered with domestic violence and the experts who helped them escape.

But! It can’t happen without your help. We’re asking any reader who suffers with any kind of domestic violence to email us in confidence and help others in a similar situation. We’re looking for people to take part in the campaign and be interviewed. We will never identify anyone who does not want to be made known.

Email mike@reallyrich.com or rich@reallyrich.com in complete confidence.

Domestic abuse takes many forms and often isn’t even physical – but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t leave scars. Never stand for it – stand up to it. Together we can speak out and make a difference to thousands of women. Check out Women’s Aid and Refuge.

There’s this guy, lets call him Sam. Okay, so Sam is a huge YouTube Celeb, and he’s really cute and I have him on YearBook. He’s sweet and funny, but with all the other girls after him its hard to get his attention. I’m even competing against my best friend because they’re friends too. How can I get his attention focused on me? He makes music and so do I, but I don’t know if thats enough. We’re actually alot alike but I feel all tense when I talk to him. I try and make sure I say the right thing but what should I do? I’ve never had this problem with guys before, if i wanted him I got him – but this is different.

Please help a sister out !

Love your friend,

Jade

Hi Jade!

Well this question is fairly straightforward and requires more thinking on your behalf than mine!

This guy sounds pretty nice, but there are a few things I think you should consider before moving any further…

First thing you need to consider is are you his type? Despite how much we may like someone, we simply might not be our ideal partner’s type, which means nothing much can really come of the relationship. Try and look at ex girlfriends or other girls he likes and see if you match up in terms of looks and personality, if you do – you’re definitely in for a chance.

You also need to think about what would happen if you did manage to win him over and you got together. Could you handle his celebrity status with girls wanting to chat to him all the time, or would you become jealous? If you’re likely to get jealous perhaps it is better to remain friends?

It terms of getting his attention, you need to be natural and be you – it sounds like you could be trying too hard. There was a guy that I really liked once, I idolised him in fact. The problem was I was so desperate for him to notice me I completely changed who I was and he lost interest in me… As soon as I started being myself he came running!
What I’m trying to say is be yourself and if he doesn’t like you for who you are then it’s not meant to be sweetie.

Good luck – let us know how it all goes!

Kisses,

Rich xx

Hi Mike,

I thought you might be able to help me out with a problem I’m having with my stupid boyfriend. I went through his phone the other day and found text messages from his ex, and read through his replies. They were pretty harmless, nothing dirty, but one or two were talking about meeting up again! I have cut ties will all of my exs, so what’s he doing?

Do you think he still has feelings for his ex? And what do you think I should I do about it?

Thanks for your help – Loving the site,

Ruth, 27,

London, UK.

Hi Ruth,

This one is more straightforward than you think, but you need confidence and patience to fix things. It could all be innocent - but remember, a faithful man is a man who avoids situations where he could cheat, so firstly explain to him that texting his ex is not acceptable and could lead to something else. He may not realise how much it upsets you.

Then be sure to keep checking his phone to see if anything changes, but be careful hunny, as this can often lead to more suspicion, becoming more of an unhealthy habbit than anything productive… so make sure that doesn’t happen.

Now, he may still have feelings for her yes, some people never seem to get over their past relationships. However I’ve always prefer to say, good riddance to useless rubbish!

If he continues to text her after you’ve discussed it or goes ahead and meets her, I’m afraid there is very little you can do hunny. But at the end of the day if he cares enough about your feelings and his relationship he’s sure to either stop speaking to her, or at least reach a compromise you are both happy with.

Best of luck Ruth and stay in touch,

Mike x

Mike,

I don’t mind you publishing this on your site, as I know it will help other girls who are feeling as terrible as I am right now, to feel that little less alone. Last weekend I was raped after meeting this guy on our first date. Going back to his place when I barely knew him was a stupid thing to do, but I was a little drunk and he had been brilliant fun all evening.

I’m not going to go into details but when I said stop, he basically didn’t -and what followed was one of the most harrowing and frustrating moments of my life. I can’t put into words what it feels like to have your body touched against your will and be hurt but be so frightened you can’t even call out for help. I don’t mean to sound dramatic but it really was disgusting.

I can’t face going back to work, I’m in my room everyday crying and I can’t have enough showers. The guy even wanted to meet me again! It makes me sick thinking about it and I can’t help thinking that I shouldn’t have led him on and it’s my fault, which upsets me even more. I have notified the police and I’m being advised legally – but emotionally I am a wreck. Any advice would be great.

Thank you,

Joanna, 28, Dorset

Joanna,

One of the most hurtful and ignorant responses to the issue of rape, is that the girl “brought it on herself” or “led the guy on,” which is just disgusting. Please understand that your actions can never cause someone to do something ruthless and therefore it is not your fault.

Firstly, you must go and see a doctor or health professional and get yourself checked out. It may seem embarrassing or intimidating but you must ensure you have not contracted anything from this man. Facing the problem head-on and dealing with the situation practically is essential.

Taking time off work is a brilliant idea, but don’t spend your days alone crying girl! Surround yourself with friends and talk about it as much as possible. It may sound like a stupid idea, no one wants to hear about your private problems right?  But it is not something to be ashamed of and as hard as it seems, discussing it will help you come to terms with what’s happened and eventually it won’t seem as raw. Your friends won’t judge you. Remember that.

Now, the fact the guy wants to see you again suggests he doesn’t think he has done anything wrong, which is a problem. Informing the police was the best thing to do. Please let them deal with it and don’t take matters into your own hands and contact the man yourself, not to say you would. It’s important to keep your distance when taking legal action.

I’m so sorry to read your e-mail Joanna. No one ever deserves to deal with this, but you sound like a sensible and inspirational woman, who will get over this. Thank you very much for letting my publish your letter. As you say, it will undoubtedly help women in the same situation realise they are not alone in their situation. Please keep in contact.

Mike x

So I was dating this guy for about 4 months and we broke up. My best friend Britney, of seven years hooked up with him 2 weeks after we broke up, a day after I moved to Oshawa.

It’s been about three weeks, but when I was down in Toronto, I was waiting for my train to head back to Oshawa and I saw her and my ex together, getting off a train.

I was so angry I decided to stay another night and go to a party with a bunch of my friends and ran into Britneys ex Boyfriend, and we got to talking and we hooked up. I know it was wrong but I don’t know what to do!

I could really use some advice…

Jayda, 25 Oshawa, ON

Dear Jayda,

First of all well done for not going over to speak to them or making a scene at the train station – there’s nothing worse than losing your self-dignity over a man!

It seems that Britney has broken one of the cardinal rules of friendship by dating your ex, but in some instances, especially yours where you have been best friends for so long – you should probably forgive her (I know it’s going to be hard!)

In terms of hooking up with her ex – why not? She has done the same to you and if you can be mature enough about it then so can she, right? But be careful, are you just doing this to get back at your ex and Britney? If so, make sure you consider how Britney’s ex feels as seeking revenge in order to deal with your anger is one thing, but hurting innocent people in doing so is another.

Providing you’re honest with Britney’s ex and you tell him exactly how you feel (and if it’s just a bit of fun then make this clear), then I don’t personally see that you’re doing anything wrong. Don’t compromise yourself for anyone else, Jayda. You’re 25, young and beautiful so have as much fun as you can and as long as you aren’t hurting anyone in the process, do whatever you like!

In terms of what to do next…that depends what you want to happen. I would personally be honest and tell Britney – you have every right to hook up with her ex, you’re single and she is dating your ex so there’s little she can say about that. Just don’t forget the other cardinal rule of friendship…never lose a friend over a man.

I hope this all helps in some way Jayda.

With Love,

Rich x

Dear Rich,

I’ve been with my boyfriend for just over a year and I have tried to break up with him a couple of times but he cries and begs me not to leave him. I feel constricted in the relationship and don’t feel as though he’s giving me the space I need and deserve. He’s a great guy and I love him to pieces – I’m just not sure I want to be in a relationship anymore. I’m scared he’s going to do something stupid if I finally break it off…what should I do?

Lisa, 21 Wales

Dear Lisa,

This is a very difficult position to be in but ultimately you must think about your own happiness. My advice to you would be to sit down with him and tell him calmly but firmly that you are not happy in this relationship, despite your feelings for him. Ensure that you tell him that he’s a great guy and you’d love to be friends (if you feel this way) but this relationship has to end here. If you begs you and cries you must be strong, support him as a friend but you must stick to your decision as keep going backwards and forwards is unfair on you both and will only make him feel worse. Try and support him as best you can but at the end of the day he must face up to this with his friends and family as support. You are not responsible for him at all Lisa so don’t take on any guilty feelings.

Good luck – and remember, always look out for number one.

With Love,

Rich x

Rich and I are snowed in today – we literally can’t leave the house! So what to do? … Well here’s my list of favs….

BUILD A SNOWMAN

Ok, this is the obvious choice but I dare anyone to try and beat our 9 foot tall snowman, (pictured above with Rich’s little brother.) HOW CUTE! Email us with your entries and if you beat us – we’ll pop it on the site. We named him Daniel… Daniel Craig…

CATCH UP WITH A FRIEND

There must be someone you never talk to during the week – or at all for that matter! A snow day is the perfect excuse to jump on the phone and catch up, as they are probably bored with nothing to do too. It will probably be strange at first but I bet you’ll have a smile on your face by the end of the conversation. Not bad for a gloomy day indoors!

BAKE A CAKE

Everyone loves to do the old fashioned housewife bit and bake a cake…it’s just finding the time to do so. Well now it’s a snow day you have all the time in the world. It’s fun, takes your mind off the weather – and most importantly… it’s tasty.

ROLL DOWN A HILL

If you’ve never done it… you’re missing out. It’s unbelievable how hard you can laugh meeting a girlfriend at the top of the biggest hill near you and racing each other to the bottom. Good times.

STAY IN BED

My favourite of all the options… whether you’re working from home or not working at all; to reach the outside world all you need to do is roll over for your laptop. So lay back, relax and take a Sunday morning lay-in mid-week – ahhh! And if you get hungry – order take out online and let the delivery boy work out how to get the pizza to your house… and then to your bed

Dear Mike,

There’s a guy I pass every morning at the bus stop and I think he’s unbelievably cute. Our eyes have started meeting as I walk past each day and yesterday there was even a slight exchange of smiles. I really want to ask him out for a drink to find out if he’s as amazing as he looks. But I just can’t get out of my head that it’s just some silly crush that will go away eventually. I thought my online gay best friend would have the answer I’m looking for – should I ask him out? I’m not a stalker but I even know what bus he catches. : )

Merry Christmas,

Jennifer, Wolverhampton

Hi Jenny,

Do you even have to ask? Yes yes yes!

Have a wicked Xmas,

Mike x

Dear Mike & Rich,

I’m in a really long distance relationship with my boyfriend right now. He lives in NYC and I live in South East Asia. It’s been two years and started off OK, until his last visit. He has to do some research for college and it’s hard for him to spend time with me. He only texts about 10 times a week, no phone calls and we only skype like once every month. The time difference is also an obstacle too, every time I’m up he’s sleeping and vice versa. There are a couple of things I need to ask you:

1. With the time difference, I expect to receive at least a text message every time I wake up in the morning. I often hear from him for days at a time and it upsets me a bit. Am I asking too much?

2. Since it’s really hard to contact him, sometimes I think he is seeing someone else. Maybe because I don’t know whats going on over there. Is there any tips to stop me thinking about that? Can you tell the signs or change of behaviour if he really is cheating on me?

Thanks soooooooooooo much!

Sarah, South East Asia

Dear Sarah,

I’m going to be brutally honest with my advice here because that’s how I would be with any of my friends. In my experience, long distance relationships that aren’t only temporary never usually work. Relationships take a massive amount of hard-work and commitment from both people and this just simply can’t be done over text messages and Internet chats.

You didn’t mention how long you two have been together exactly, or whether you will be living nearer to each other in the near future. If you are, then your relationship may have a chance to survive with enough work from you both. It seems with so many obstacles in your way – time being the greatest, you’re never going to be properly fulfilled by the relationship; and how can you with so little contact.

You need to think of yourself Sarah. There is probably someone much closer , that you’ll be able to see more often, who you’ll be able to physically have contact with regularly. You asked in your message if you’re asking too much and the answer is yes. You’re asking too much of yourself and also of him. With such a huge distance between you both you’re putting a heavy strain on yourself and your happiness and it simply isn’t fair.

I could write you tips on how to stop thinking about him being with someone else but I’m not going to because I think you need to find someone closer that makes you happy. Human beings need companionship by nature and you’ll never get to experience that intimacy in its entirety when you only see him twice a year.

Please remain friends with him but my honest advice is to find someone you can have everything you deserve from a relationship with.

Remember to put your own happiness first – otherwise you’ll miss out on so much.

Good Luck Sarah.

With Love,

Rich