When Should A Woman Propose?

Dear Mike,

My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years and have lived together for 2. I have often brought up the subject of marriage with him; especially recently, however he never really says much and we end up changing the subject before I really find out how he feels. We couldn’t be happier as a couple but I have always wanted to get married before I’m 30, and I’m now 29. I guess I feel time is running out for me. I would like to start a family but not really until we are married. My question to you is, when should a woman propose to a man, is it ever right?

Thanks for your help, love the site,

Jackie

Hi Jackie,

A lot of people will say… never! A man proposing is a tradition that should not be broken. But that’s old fashioned! No longer do you have to wait until February 29th every leap year. It’s getting much more popular for women to make that first move, get down on one knee and ask for their man’s hand in marriage. Even jewellers are now stocked up with men’s engagement rings. So I say go for it, what have you got to lose?

What concerns though me is that age seems to be your main reason for marriage, not that fact you’re a woman. You should be proposing to your partner because you love them, you want to spend the rest of your life with them and you have a fairly good idea they want the same thing as you, regardless if you are a guy or a girl. If you are merely marrying because of your age I would ask if you’re buying a ring for the right reasons. I know marriage brings the security you crave to start your family but that is useless if your man doesn’t want the same things.

What you need to do is sit him down and talk this through and don’t stop until you have a clear idea where he stands. Who knows, he might be waiting for your 30th to propose? Communication is the key no matter what sex you are.

You may or may not like his answers but you need to know how he feels.

Best of Luck,

Mike x