My Best Friend Took My Man
Heeey Rich & Mike,
So I was dating this guy for about 4 months and we broke up. My best friend Britney, of seven years hooked up with him 2 weeks after we broke up, a day after I moved to Oshawa.
It’s been about three weeks, but when I was down in Toronto, I was waiting for my train to head back to Oshawa and I saw her and my ex together, getting off a train.
I was so angry I decided to stay another night and go to a party with a bunch of my friends and ran into Britneys ex Boyfriend, and we got to talking and we hooked up. I know it was wrong but I don’t know what to do!
I could really use some advice…
Jayda, 25 Oshawa, ON
Dear Jayda,
First of all well done for not going over to speak to them or making a scene at the train station – there’s nothing worse than losing your self-dignity over a man!
It seems that Britney has broken one of the cardinal rules of friendship by dating your ex, but in some instances, especially yours where you have been best friends for so long – you should probably forgive her (I know it’s going to be hard!)
In terms of hooking up with her ex – why not? She has done the same to you and if you can be mature enough about it then so can she, right? But be careful, are you just doing this to get back at your ex and Britney? If so, make sure you consider how Britney’s ex feels as seeking revenge in order to deal with your anger is one thing, but hurting innocent people in doing so is another.
Providing you’re honest with Britney’s ex and you tell him exactly how you feel (and if it’s just a bit of fun then make this clear), then I don’t personally see that you’re doing anything wrong. Don’t compromise yourself for anyone else, Jayda. You’re 25, young and beautiful so have as much fun as you can and as long as you aren’t hurting anyone in the process, do whatever you like!
In terms of what to do next…that depends what you want to happen. I would personally be honest and tell Britney – you have every right to hook up with her ex, you’re single and she is dating your ex so there’s little she can say about that. Just don’t forget the other cardinal rule of friendship…never lose a friend over a man.
I hope this all helps in some way Jayda.
With Love,
Rich x
What's up - I'm Rich, and this is my blog, ReallyRich.com - Your Online Gay Best Friend. I'm a pretty average British guy. I love tea, I hate spiders. Don't forget to catch me on Facebook and Twitter!
thank you so much Rich !
i sent you another,i just have so many questions.
Sincerly; Jayda
Well my story is sort of the same…I had a boyfriend for 2 months and he went to another country for about one and a half months. He came back and told me that the minute he saw me his feelings towards me were gone then a couple of days later he hooked up with my best friend. They do not regret what they have done and I am so mad at them…what should I do? My best friend knew how much I loved him and then she does that right after he returns? That’s just disgusting…I need advice…should I forgive her? What should I do? They both want to continue and he says he does not have feelings for her – it’s just ‘fun’. I need help…please what should I do?
Dear Amanda
I am sorry to hear about your terrible situation – you must be going out of your mind at the moment. The first thing you should do is step back from the situation and breathe. For your ex partner to come home from his trip and tell you he know longers wants to be in a relationship with you is one thing, but to then start seeing your best friend is a whole different ball game – it is not acceptable.
Unfortunately, I do not place the blame on him because at the end of the day – your friend should know better than to sleep with him…she is betraying you. You need to sit down with her and tell her that what she’s going is degrading your friendship and really hurting your feelings – it isn’t acceptable. There are hundreds of guys out there she could sleep with – why does she have to do it with your ex?!
If she continues to see your ex after you have calmly explained your feelings I would recommend putting your friendship with her on hold for a while. If you see her while she’s seeing your ex it’ll only hurt your feelings more. Explain to her that once she is done seeing your ex, or when you no longer have feelings for him – you’d like to see her again.
Keep your head held high Amanda – things in life are sent to test us…pass the test and do all you can to make yourself happy.
Best Wishes
Rich xx